Winners And Losers
Some people, and I think this is primarily a man thing, are so competitive they stay the course even when it makes no sense to do so. Some men get the blues over something as ridicules as a sporting event, when their team loses. It is never about “how you play the game” or losing with dignity. It is always about winning.
Of course winning is essential to success in the major endeavors we encounter in life. As I have said so many times before, it is all a matter of balance and priority. A platitude worth remembering is, pick your battles. In the words of Dale Carnegie:
“Any fool can criticize, complain, condemn – and most fools do. Picking your battles is impressive and fighting them fairly is essential.”
Fight for your life, fight for what you know to be right, not a football game or bravado to prove you have the biggest dick.
We equate winners with never giving up. How often I have seen men hell-bent of finishing something, wasting a part of their life finishing what they started, when in reality it will do nothing to enhance their life, or the lives of others. You do not have to finish a book, a movie, or yes guys, even a competition if you don’t enjoy it. You don’t have to finish your term on a board, a committee, or similar obligations unless it is the right thing to do. There is a major difference between quitting a thing after careful thought and inspection, or quitting without consideration or simply because you find it hard to do.
In his 1977 bestseller, “Looking Out For # 1” Robert Ringer says in regards to winning,
“Winning merely for the sake of winning elevates it to an end in itself and thereby relegates the main objective – happiness – to a position of lesser importance.”
Under the assumption that we all want to be happy, that becomes the goal of life. It follows that even if you are willing to put forth all the time and effort possible, you are not going to win at everything anyway. Your team will sometimes lose.
Consider the man who plays golf to relax and have fun. See him red-faced angry, hurling his clubs down the fairway, cursing the God who made him, because he is having a bad golf day. He not only ruins the day for himself, there is a good chance he will have a problem finding someone to play with for another outing. This is the world of little men, who in fact know nothing but winning or losing.
No related posts.
sablonneuse:
I’m probably going off at a bit of a tangent here, but your post made me think of men in power who have pigheadedly pursued the wrong course rather than backdown even when they realise they’re wrong. Is this stupidity, self-preservation, or the same ‘man-thing’ you are writing about? Or maybe a combination of all three plus other characteristics . . . .
August 2008Hal:
I think you have described our current President to the letter. Although I don’t think he believes he is wrong. I think men of great power such as Napoleon, Hitler, or Alexander were delusional and driven, and not just generally pig-headed men.
In fact I can’t think of powerful men who thought they were wrong and wouldn’t quit. Dictators, past or present don’t appear to think they are wrong - they remind me of vicious little children.
The other side to this are great men who wouldn’t quit in the face of overwhelming adversity. Lincoln comes to mind. On your side, Churchill.
Aside from Bush, who I think is out of touch with the people, who are you thinking about?
August 2008sablonneuse:
Well, I was thinking of Tony Blair, Gordon Brown . . . .
August 2008Hal:
I don’t see how they could possibly be worse that George Bush. But that’s just my opinion.
August 2008sablonneuse:
I didn’t say they were worse - it’s just that on this side of the Atlantic they’re more obvious! From what I’ve seen of George Bush and the effects of his administration worldwide the sooner he goes the better.
August 2008Hal:
Bush is considered by most historians to be the worst president in history. I think this is actually being kind. This is based on his success-failure rate. The damage he has done, all over the world, will take decades to repair, and I’m not sure some things can be fixed.
In the US, I think the worst thing he has done is divide the country. From an article in The Washington Post:
Despite some notable accomplishments in domestic and foreign policy, Nixon is mostly associated today with disdain for the Constitution and abuse of presidential power. Obsessed with secrecy and media leaks, he viewed every critic as a threat to national security and illegally spied on U.S. citizens. Nixon considered himself above the law.
Bush has taken this disdain for law even further. He has sought to strip people accused of crimes of rights that date as far back as the Magna Carta in Anglo-American jurisprudence: trial by impartial jury, access to lawyers and knowledge of evidence against them. In dozens of statements when signing legislation, he has asserted the right to ignore the parts of laws with which he disagrees. His administration has adopted policies regarding the treatment of prisoners of war that have disgraced the nation and alienated virtually the entire world. Usually, during wartime, the Supreme Court has refrained from passing judgment on presidential actions related to national defense. The court’s unprecedented rebukes of Bush’s policies on detainees indicate how far the administration has strayed from the rule of law.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/01/AR2006120101509.html
And that was back in 2006. He has become worse since then.
August 2008