When the dog died he and his wife shut themselves off from the world, refused to take phone calls, email, or have any human contact for two weeks. Earlier that year, when his mother died, he was somewhat upset, but remarked that, “well, we all die… .” The year prior to that, when his sister died, he didn’t say much of anything I can remember.
This is all true, and from a man I’ve known since childhood. I am not insensitive to pet owners; in fact, I have owned a dog or two in my life, and loved them. Note I used the word owned. The dogs were mine, in the sense that they are property much like livestock on a farm. Having grown up on a farm, I will never understand the mind-set of those who place more value on animal than human life.
In my experience, people who do this have a problem with people, and the company of people, and have other issues in their lives that make them somewhat of a social misfit. Picture the lonely single woman with six cats and a house that stinks of cat urine. I have known several women like this. They let the world know how they hate men because they have had hateful experiences with men. Virtually all the women I’ve know like this would love to find a man who treated them as they want to be treated. I admit, there are some lousy bastards in the world who don’t deserve to lick the shoes of some very good women. There are some women who don’t deserve a good man as well. But this is not about men vs women - that is only one example.
It is difficult for some sensitive souls to bear the burden of their less than perfect fellow human beings. I make no pretense of providing advise on psychology, but some things are apparent. If you interact with people, they will disagree with you. They will contradict, argue, and not allow you to control them. They will not always conform to your way. Other people are always the source of greatest stress in your life. Animals only require moderate attention, never disagree, argue or fuss with you. You control them, and you mold them to your way.
There is a joke going around the web now that sums this up:
Who’s your best friend, your dog or your wife? Try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, see which one is really happy to see you.
I don’t claim to be a “people person” any more than an animal rights activist. In fact, I like being alone, but not as a way of life. Human misery in the world bothers me, and I try not to add to anyone’s misery. I would never elevate an animal’s life above human life. On the other hand, I’ve known some low down sons-a-bitches who who don’t care for any living thing, and I can say with certainty the world is better without them. History is filed with more assholes than saints, and human history is bloody, sad and dreary.
Americans are a strange mixture of pathos and resplendency. Most of us eat meat, but are repulsed by the idea of killing animals. Many of us are cruel to our fellow beings, but all heart to the cat or dog living with us. While homeless people lay in our streets, Americans spent $40 billion on pet luxuries in 2007.
A few weeks ago I happened to meet an old friend, someone I hadn’t seen for more than 10 years. The last time I saw her, around 1996, she was 34 years old, her clock was ticking, and she wanted a baby. She told me she was married in 1998, we exchanged other life events, and I asked if she had children. With a hint of sadness she told me no, that had not happened, and of course I didn’t pursue this personal issue. But suddenly her face brightened, and she said, “But we have our cats, and that keeps me busy.”
How sad it is that she will never understand the difference between having a baby (and all that goes with this incredible responsibility) and having pets. Of course I understand the substitution factor, a way for her to have some living thing in her life. But she has no point of reference, no way to contrast the vast anomaly that is her life as a human and her life as a cat.
