Buckeyes Speak With Strange Tongue
I first came, or rather was brought to Ohio when I was 10 years old. At the time I swore an oath that as soon as I was old enough I would return home, to Kentucky. How I despised Ohio, and the grating sound of that twangy accent. By the time I was 16, I had discovered new interests, things called girls, and the idea of returning “home” then became not so important.
Pubescent hormone raging aside, I have never lost my dislike for the native Buckeye accent. Ohio is a strange state to begin with, Cleveland in the north to Cincinnati in the south. Clevelander’s accent is so similar to Bronx, I have a problem hearing any difference. In the south, Cincinnatians range from heavy German to Northern Kentucky – Cincinnati is the melting pot of Ohio, and a “who cares” sort of place.
The folks of Columbus, the capitol, have a typical mid-west accent – Spin around blindfolded and you could be in Iowa as far as speech goes. But then we have the rest of the state, a huge chunk of property, with this God-awful accent.
Primarily centered around Dayton (The Miami Valley Area), the general population cannot properly pronounce the vowels ‘e’ and ‘i’. Lima is pronounced Lie ma. Anything with a single ‘e’ is pronounced ‘ee” as in tea. Near Dayton there is a road, Rebert Pike. Any common knowledge of English would dictate that it be pronounced Reb ert, but Buckeyes insist on calling it Reebert Pike.
Buckeyes do not go fishing. They go feeshing. They don’t wish, the weesh. And there are no creeks, there are criks (as in fix).
“I heard there was good feeshin’ in that crik up on Reebert Pike.”
“Shore is a purty day. I weesh we cud go, but I have to go up to Lie muh with the wife.”
You would think that as the world becomes smaller, accents start to homogenize, Americans would speak a more standard form of English. That is not happening. In fact, our dialects remain pretty much the same as they have for the last two hundred years or more.
Later this year the wife and I (in Ohio a wife is always a thing) are planning a trip down to Rio Grande (Rye-O Grand), Ohio. We are looking forward to visiting the Bob Evens sausage farm down there.
Though there are many mangled misnomers in Ohio, one that I love to hear is Russia. Yes Virginia, there is a Russia, Ohio. As of the 2000 census, there were 551 people living there. Ask, and they will tell you, they live in Roo-she. I’d be interested to know if they have ever heard of Russia, that huge country on the other side of the globe.
