Hal - Deliberately Basic

Being Male is Dangerous to Your Health And Well Being

The fact that You can go online and locate registered sex offenders living near you, is fast becoming meaningless. We tend to think of sex offenders as scruffy middle-aged men who molest little boys and girls. Well folks, that has not been the case for some time, and the recent incident of 7th grade boys in Oregon is proof enough for me. And all those red dots you see living near you are probably not sex offenders in the sense of molestation.

From ABC News: Cory Mashburn and Ryan Cornelison, both 13, were arrested in February after they were caught in the halls of Patton Middle School, in McMinnville, Ore., slapping girls on the rear end. My God, these are just kids screwing around. Should they be punished? I think so, but making them register as sex offenders, ruining their young lives is beyond credible thinking.

There is case after case where a man made an error in judgment, took a whiz in a parking lot, and is registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Should men who do something like this be punished? Of course, with a fine for being an obnoxious SOB, but why are we ruining lives, lumping all offenses into one category? Sex offender.

We shudder at the thought of whipping a child in school, yet the system will do more harm than any paddle could ever cause. I for one have refused to be alone with any child for years. All it would take is some accusation that I acted inappropriately, even if there was no veracity to it, and I’m off to the slammer. No thanks, its not worth the risk.

My fervent hope is, that whoever brought these charges, the maniacal mind that conceived this idea, will someday be on the receiving end of a similar situation. To be male, and a citizen of the US today is to be in jeopardy. What will the next headline be? Something like this:

Newborn Boy Charged With Sexual Misconduct

God save us from the do-gooders.

Several years ago I predicted that a day would come when technology would become more of a pain in the ass than a productivity enhancer. I now see the seeds of that prediction sprouting. For those of us who have spent most of our lives working with evolving technology, there comes a time when we need to get away from it, or condemn ourselves to eternal tinkering.

It may seem contradictory that you are reading this on a blog. I’m not saying that we should live the life of a stoic, or trek the Himalayas searching for the meaning of life. I know that for me, I need a break from gadgets and the onslaught of web 2 applications. When I see lines of people waiting for some ridicules widget like the iPhone, I ask myself if I am missing something in the chain of human evolution.

Somewhere at this moment, a corporate entity is developing a gadget you and I have never heard of. Tomorrow it will be available, and like the iPhone, thousands will rush to buy it. Products are developed and marketed faster and faster. Before we can even understand or benefit from what is available now, we are overwhelmed with more or less… more.

Almost every gizmo on on the market is about communication. Of the five senses, all the gadgets are centered around seeing and hearing. Audio, whether music, voice or simply sounds, drown serenity. Visual, pictures and text vie for attention. Is there a conspiracy to aggregate them into audio-visual, and force-feed us mass quantities of useless information with computers and televisions? In a sense, yes. Its name is advertising.

I used to believe gadget burnout was age-related, and to a degree I still do. Writing letters is an example of a dated technology. Other than an invitation or advertisement, I can’t remember the last time I received a letter. Two dynamics are working here: it is tacky to send a formal invitation by email, and it is excruciatingly slow to write letters to friends and relatives. Nevertheless, I know people my age who still write letters and will never embrace any digital form of communication. I also know people of all ages who are tired of gadgets, and want to see what the world was like before constant communication.

There is an old computer axiom, that states, just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should. Even in technology we sometimes find a nugget of wisdom.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates

If you could go back in time, and have a second chance at things, what would you change? This question must be as old as humankind itself. We have all heard people remark about how, “if I only knew them what I know now… .” Unless you had a horrible past, it’s fun to daydream about going back, even if you didn’t know then what you know now.

I often hear people say they have no regrets about anything they did, or failed to do in the past.  If you have no regrets, you are either narcissistic or didn’t do much. To be human is to make mistakes. Who in his right mind wouldn’t want to correct a mistake given the opportunity?

Then there is the road not taken. In youth we tend not to notice the forks in the road unless they are so blatant we are forced to choose. Often someone else, perhaps our parents, choose for us. At some point in life most of us look back and realize we may have missed an opportunity to take our life in a different direction. Because we cannot turn around on the road of life, that chance is forever gone. Hence, we may have perfectly legitimate regrets.

This is not to say there is a need to fret over regrets, or waste precious time in self-pity and blame. For me it is kinda fun to wonder what my life would have been like if I had made a different decision at certain points. Or, wouldn’t it be nice to change a few things for the better.

For example, I wish I had gone to Woodstock. I can hear the groans, “Why the hell do you regret something as banal as that?” Hey, its my regret, get your own. The bigger point is, I wish I had taken more time to enjoy my youth instead of rushing into corporate America to live the preconceived notions of my parents generation.

I regret not spending more time with my daughter before she started school. I suppose this is a common regret for many men. We think we must work because it is our duty to see that our families have the material things they want. Too late we learn that none of the “things” make much difference in the life of a child.

Regrets fall fall into two categories; Serious and frivolous. Woodstock is a frivolous example, my daughter is a serious admonition. The first is a mere daydream, the second a true regret. Aside from learning, neither requires any action.

History teaches us not to make the mistakes of the past. Reviewing our personal history should serve as an aid in making decisions about the present, and the future. Life examination 101 should be taught throughout our school years, for what is more important than life?

A New Era In Broadscasting News

In May, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, did a spoof about the sexy female news anchors on CNN, MSNBC, and FOX. I have wondered for several years if the Human Resource department at CNN is headed by a man. Would a woman hire only great looking women to sell the news? Of course there are men counterparts, but who gives more than a passing glance to them?

Indeed, sex sells, and the women of CNN have that “Victoria’s Secret” look, hot enough to steam windows. If they have that affect on me, imagine what they do to a hormone driven teen-aged boy. Would that the news were so easy to watch years ago when I was taking civics in high school.

Sexy news anchors have become a phenomenon in recent years, and a hot topic (no pun intended) across the Internet. A Dogpile (An apropos search engine) search landed me 84 hits that were relevant, not all of which were female. Apparently, women find Stephen Colbert sexy. He does nothing for me.

The next step is naked woman news anchors. But, to my surprise and delight, that has already been done. Although it is not common here in the US, and trust me I looked, it is not uncommon in other parts of the world, as this site shows.

Then there is the local news in my area, where the woman are so ugly they could scare a blind man. With all fairness, the men are not so pretty either. Occasionally, one of the weather gals are acceptable, but they are not using sex to sell the news. If that is their intention they have failed miserably.

My imagination runs wild with what the next stage is in Broadscasting news. S & M News, with Leather Lockkneed. Bambi & Company, Headline News. And for the ladies, The Colbare Rapeour.

We may not know much about current events, but The Boob Tube continues to delight men all over the world.